Saturday, August 05, 2006
Guess How Many Hours This Took?
1a. Would you rather be best friends with the Bradys, the "Friends," the Seinfeld gang, the "Simpsons" or the Apprentice candidates? Por que?
I wonder how the Apprentice candidates are when they're not followed by cameras everywhere. I'd have to reserve judgment on them. The Simpsons would make me feel like I don't age well because they don't age at all. The Seinfeld gang would probably not give me enough private time while ruining my life and career eventually, but they would make for enlightening and delightful conversation. Now, would I live in the 1960-70s with the Bradys, or would they be with me in 2006? If they were here in 2006, would I assume they've aged or dead ones would still be alive? If I had to live back in their time, I wouldn't like the lack of a high speed internet connection.
So, I'll probably go with the Friends friends, by process of elimination.
...
Now it's a few hours later. I was on a break. I think Friends would be the fairly easy choice because all of us beautiful people should hang out together.
1b. If there were a character on the show you picked in 1a based on you, what would that character's quirks be and how would he fit in the show relative to the other characters?
My character would be Gunther's new waiter at Central Perk, starting out by making witty one-liners, either one-upping Chandler's remarks or beating him to the punch. I would have to make open references to being Asian. I would intermittently give advice to the Friends, either individually or to the larger group. Sometimes I would claim that it comes from Chinese culture or old Chinese sayings. But sometimes I would make that claim, and then just say, "Nah, I just made that up."
Chandler and I would comically butt heads, and would somewhat playfully dislike each other. I would have the upper hand most of the time in my first season on the show, and it would come to a head in an episode entitled "The One Where Chandler Discovers His Kryptonite", where he would lose his comic timing and impact whenever I was around. After I would make my stage exit, he would mutter my name, similar to how Jerry Seinfeld would mutter "Newman". Except my character's name would be "Scottie", because the writers would need a 2-syllable name to make this effective.
2. You asked this twice yourself, probably because you're anxious to answer it yourself, so... What was your greatest sports memory?
My memory isn't so great, but there are things that I've done, and things that I've seen. I don't want to rank them, but I'll list them in the order that I type them:
3. Would you rather be president of the US, governor of California, a Supreme Court justice, a CEO or a l*kers ball-boy?
This is almost like asking if I'd rather be pissed on or shat on. From a pure job enjoyment point of view, a ball-boy would be best, but even then I wouldn't want to be a flunky for these rich youngsters. If I had those other jobs, I'd surely receive many more death threats, so that would probably be a distraction. Also, being in those other high-profile positions feels like a lose-lose proposition due to the stress and public scrutiny. Not that I know anything about doing those jobs, but the most interesting thing about trying to take on one of those jobs would be to see how much corruption goes on and how quickly good intentions can go out the window.
4. What's the best idea you ever came up with on your Thinking Throne?
It seems only appropriate that I answer this from the Throne itself.
Again, I don't remember much about the stuff that I spew from the Throne. Most of it is a review of what I have recently done and what I need to do next. And, what I should have done instead. Sometimes, I'll allow myself to get into the Wayback Machine and reflect on years past.
The only thing that stands out in my mind right now is the realization that the center portion of the toilet seat protector, after being torn out, can be used as an oil blotter (oily skin, you know).
I guess it's mostly stream-of-consciousness stuff. Like, I worry so much about dust and germs, yet there are so many instances when I wouldn't even think about it. How clean are those paper plates and napkins that we always use? Hey, busboy, go take that stack of cardboard from the storeroom floor and fold each one into a pizza box.
I could go on and on, but I'll stop.
5. If k*be needed a kidney and you were one of 100 matching donors, would you hope they'd pick you, really hope they'd pick you, or really really hope they'd pick you? If Bill Laimbeer were going to die without an emergency bone-marrow transplant and you were one of only three matches doctors had identified so far, would you step up immediately or hope one of the other two would first?
I would be extremely selfish and hope that I don't get picked at all. If it were for the benefit of a family member, especially one I know, then I'd need to do some soul-searching. For a stranger, I'd be totally hoping I wouldn't be noticed, so I don't need to make a decision to compromise the quality of the rest of my life. 'Cause if I'm in discomfort, I start complaining. And people around me are going to know about it. And the quality of their lives would suffer.
But if I were singled out as the only donor that could help someone famous like Kobe, and if I refused to help, his fans would come after me with the death threats and the stalkers, like they did for that girl from Colorado. So another lose-lose situation.
I'm reluctant to wish that fate upon anyone. And I don't think there's any way to do the job "perfectly". I have a feeling the person who would do the most "right things" in the eyes of most people is not a very public figure, and has neither the political skill nor connections to get to where he or she would need to be in order to even be considered. In the Chosen One, decency may trump patriotism in keeping him or her away from public office. Even Al Gore said that it's a toxic environment, politics.
4. How has marriage changed you?
I am softer and more patient. I have to allow for more time to get things done or to go places.
1. How's the house since I visited last - i.e. what's new, what's in the works?
A few more things have been thrown away. Some boxes have been moved out of sight. But, still looks about the same. Though, new blinds/shades will be installed on Monday.
2. If you won 10 million dolloars in a lottery, would you tell anyone? Bonus - if so, who, if not, why not?
I would seriously consider not claiming the prize until the last minute, after most of the supposed hype dies down. I would want as few people to know as possible. I don't mind if friends and family knew. But I wouldn't rush to announce it to most people. I don't think I would change much of my routine. I would still go to work. I would invest that money after paying off the mortgage. And I'd donate some. $10 million isn't insanely large, though the interest from it would probably be sufficient to live off of. Mainly, for the safety of friends and family, I'd want to keep as low a public profile as possible.
I just get the sense that bad things come to people with high profiles.
But to answer the basic question, yes, I'd tell Shmoopie, my parents and sister, at least at first.
3. Do you separate the fact that Kobe is a great basketball player, and the fact that he's a socially awkward adulterer, or because he is a great basketball player, everything's forgotten?
I realize he did some bad things, but a lot of people have done much worse. He sucks for doing it, but there are many more people much more despicable than he is who are more deserving of the public's ire. Again, most of them are people you've never heard of. But if you must hate on somebody, I guess you have to choose somebody you know or know of.
Bill Clinton got caught cheating and there's no way America would accept anybody defending his actions. There's nothing to debate here; we're all in agreement. Hey, let's impeach that bastard. We can't let a sitting/standing president do this crap. My god, if a president is going to cheat on his wife, the whole world will go to hell. The office of the President has lost its credibility! The President is a laughingstock and no one is going to respect him anymore, that Clinton. Think of the effect on our lives! We must get him out of office! There's no way he should be allowed to do his job anymore. A man who sucks at not getting caught while cheating is a liability. Can't separate sex and state, nosirree Bill. If he were much better at keeping this a secret, he'd be able to do his Presidenting just fine!
No one should condone what Kobe did. But, as an NBA fan, I'm pissed that he cheated me out of a solid season of watching him play basketball with the media focus being squarely on basketball. From my selfish point of view, I want to continue to have basketball viewing enjoyment, so the more I can watch him play, the better. The fans want payback.
Kind of like how Magic Johnson cheated fans from seeing him continue to play in his prime after November 1991.
4. Would you let a good frind borrow money - good chunk of change - no questions asked?
I would try my damndest to get at least an idea of what the money was for. If it were for something illegal, I ain't going to implicate myself in some crap. Because it's a risk for my family as well. But I would assume a good friend would not have to hide what the money is for, as I'd be willing to listen and help. But I wouldn't want to support someone's secret drug habit, for instance. Money doesn't grow on trees for anybody.
5. What sports would you have picked up if basketball wasn't invented?
Wow. I'd want to say bowling, except it seems ridiculous to have to pay money every time you simply want to play a sport for enjoyment. Baseball is plain ridiculous, in general. Football is risky... Hockey, no... Jai-alai, no. Games that you can play alone or with others... Tennis, no. NASCAR, no. Track & field events need special equipment. I suppose running is free, but not terribly exciting. Maybe some form of cycling, just riding a bike. I guess I'll have to think about this more. And I know just the place to think about it.
I wonder how the Apprentice candidates are when they're not followed by cameras everywhere. I'd have to reserve judgment on them. The Simpsons would make me feel like I don't age well because they don't age at all. The Seinfeld gang would probably not give me enough private time while ruining my life and career eventually, but they would make for enlightening and delightful conversation. Now, would I live in the 1960-70s with the Bradys, or would they be with me in 2006? If they were here in 2006, would I assume they've aged or dead ones would still be alive? If I had to live back in their time, I wouldn't like the lack of a high speed internet connection.
So, I'll probably go with the Friends friends, by process of elimination.
...
Now it's a few hours later. I was on a break. I think Friends would be the fairly easy choice because all of us beautiful people should hang out together.
1b. If there were a character on the show you picked in 1a based on you, what would that character's quirks be and how would he fit in the show relative to the other characters?
My character would be Gunther's new waiter at Central Perk, starting out by making witty one-liners, either one-upping Chandler's remarks or beating him to the punch. I would have to make open references to being Asian. I would intermittently give advice to the Friends, either individually or to the larger group. Sometimes I would claim that it comes from Chinese culture or old Chinese sayings. But sometimes I would make that claim, and then just say, "Nah, I just made that up."
Chandler and I would comically butt heads, and would somewhat playfully dislike each other. I would have the upper hand most of the time in my first season on the show, and it would come to a head in an episode entitled "The One Where Chandler Discovers His Kryptonite", where he would lose his comic timing and impact whenever I was around. After I would make my stage exit, he would mutter my name, similar to how Jerry Seinfeld would mutter "Newman". Except my character's name would be "Scottie", because the writers would need a 2-syllable name to make this effective.
2. You asked this twice yourself, probably because you're anxious to answer it yourself, so... What was your greatest sports memory?
My memory isn't so great, but there are things that I've done, and things that I've seen. I don't want to rank them, but I'll list them in the order that I type them:
- The Lakers won the 2000 NBA championship, finally removing the monkey off my back since becoming a fan after the 1988 season.
- The moment that Sang already mentioned regarding our kids beating Ernie's kids with a late basket to launch our runts into a championship celebration.
- There's a long highlight reel in my head of insignificant basketball passes and plays, but nothing that I can recall played a huge role in a meaningful game.
- In a championship game at the league near work, I made three 3-pointers in a row over a span of a few possessions to begin to build up our lead...
- In 8th grade, in a Pee Wee league at Lomita Park, the other team went up by 2 with around 5 seconds to go. I took the inbounds pass and dribbled up the court getting nearly to the three-point line. I swear I would have made that 3-pointer if Marco Ramirez hadn't knocked the ball away as I was bringing the ball up to shoot. I knew that would have been my moment, and like Magic Johnson crying after tearing his hamstring in Detroit during the 1989 NBA Finals, I had to hold back tears. Anyway, if we had won, we would have won the championship. But we played them again in a double elimination format and it wasn't close.
- In another championship game at my lunchtime league near work, our team was down by 2 in the waning seconds. We had the ball out of bounds. Our top shooter was double- or triple-teamed, and I was wide open for a three-pointer that I knew I would make at the buzzer. But, he passed it inside to our big man for a rushed, fadeaway baseline jumper that missed. If I would have had the ball, I would have won the game.
3. Would you rather be president of the US, governor of California, a Supreme Court justice, a CEO or a l*kers ball-boy?
This is almost like asking if I'd rather be pissed on or shat on. From a pure job enjoyment point of view, a ball-boy would be best, but even then I wouldn't want to be a flunky for these rich youngsters. If I had those other jobs, I'd surely receive many more death threats, so that would probably be a distraction. Also, being in those other high-profile positions feels like a lose-lose proposition due to the stress and public scrutiny. Not that I know anything about doing those jobs, but the most interesting thing about trying to take on one of those jobs would be to see how much corruption goes on and how quickly good intentions can go out the window.
4. What's the best idea you ever came up with on your Thinking Throne?
It seems only appropriate that I answer this from the Throne itself.
Again, I don't remember much about the stuff that I spew from the Throne. Most of it is a review of what I have recently done and what I need to do next. And, what I should have done instead. Sometimes, I'll allow myself to get into the Wayback Machine and reflect on years past.
The only thing that stands out in my mind right now is the realization that the center portion of the toilet seat protector, after being torn out, can be used as an oil blotter (oily skin, you know).
I guess it's mostly stream-of-consciousness stuff. Like, I worry so much about dust and germs, yet there are so many instances when I wouldn't even think about it. How clean are those paper plates and napkins that we always use? Hey, busboy, go take that stack of cardboard from the storeroom floor and fold each one into a pizza box.
I could go on and on, but I'll stop.
5. If k*be needed a kidney and you were one of 100 matching donors, would you hope they'd pick you, really hope they'd pick you, or really really hope they'd pick you? If Bill Laimbeer were going to die without an emergency bone-marrow transplant and you were one of only three matches doctors had identified so far, would you step up immediately or hope one of the other two would first?
I would be extremely selfish and hope that I don't get picked at all. If it were for the benefit of a family member, especially one I know, then I'd need to do some soul-searching. For a stranger, I'd be totally hoping I wouldn't be noticed, so I don't need to make a decision to compromise the quality of the rest of my life. 'Cause if I'm in discomfort, I start complaining. And people around me are going to know about it. And the quality of their lives would suffer.
But if I were singled out as the only donor that could help someone famous like Kobe, and if I refused to help, his fans would come after me with the death threats and the stalkers, like they did for that girl from Colorado. So another lose-lose situation.
1. When do you think you'll finish unpacking?
Give me a few years. The unofficial goal in my mind is by the end of 2006.
Give me a few years. The unofficial goal in my mind is by the end of 2006.
2. If you had it to do over again, and you couldn't choose engineering, what would you have majored in college?
Probably something that would lead into business or finance. Would economics do it? Sociology seems interesting (I chose Soc classes when forced to take non-technical courses), but I don't feel I could apply any of that toward making much money.
Probably something that would lead into business or finance. Would economics do it? Sociology seems interesting (I chose Soc classes when forced to take non-technical courses), but I don't feel I could apply any of that toward making much money.
3. Democracy aside, If you could select the next President of the United States who would you choose.
I'm reluctant to wish that fate upon anyone. And I don't think there's any way to do the job "perfectly". I have a feeling the person who would do the most "right things" in the eyes of most people is not a very public figure, and has neither the political skill nor connections to get to where he or she would need to be in order to even be considered. In the Chosen One, decency may trump patriotism in keeping him or her away from public office. Even Al Gore said that it's a toxic environment, politics.
4. How has marriage changed you?
I am softer and more patient. I have to allow for more time to get things done or to go places.
5. What was the last courageous thing you did?
I'm fortunate to not be required to do courageous things very often. Tops on my list would be making the preparations leading up to proposing to Shmoopie.
I'm fortunate to not be required to do courageous things very often. Tops on my list would be making the preparations leading up to proposing to Shmoopie.
1. How's the house since I visited last - i.e. what's new, what's in the works?
A few more things have been thrown away. Some boxes have been moved out of sight. But, still looks about the same. Though, new blinds/shades will be installed on Monday.
2. If you won 10 million dolloars in a lottery, would you tell anyone? Bonus - if so, who, if not, why not?
I would seriously consider not claiming the prize until the last minute, after most of the supposed hype dies down. I would want as few people to know as possible. I don't mind if friends and family knew. But I wouldn't rush to announce it to most people. I don't think I would change much of my routine. I would still go to work. I would invest that money after paying off the mortgage. And I'd donate some. $10 million isn't insanely large, though the interest from it would probably be sufficient to live off of. Mainly, for the safety of friends and family, I'd want to keep as low a public profile as possible.
I just get the sense that bad things come to people with high profiles.
But to answer the basic question, yes, I'd tell Shmoopie, my parents and sister, at least at first.
3. Do you separate the fact that Kobe is a great basketball player, and the fact that he's a socially awkward adulterer, or because he is a great basketball player, everything's forgotten?
I realize he did some bad things, but a lot of people have done much worse. He sucks for doing it, but there are many more people much more despicable than he is who are more deserving of the public's ire. Again, most of them are people you've never heard of. But if you must hate on somebody, I guess you have to choose somebody you know or know of.
Bill Clinton got caught cheating and there's no way America would accept anybody defending his actions. There's nothing to debate here; we're all in agreement. Hey, let's impeach that bastard. We can't let a sitting/standing president do this crap. My god, if a president is going to cheat on his wife, the whole world will go to hell. The office of the President has lost its credibility! The President is a laughingstock and no one is going to respect him anymore, that Clinton. Think of the effect on our lives! We must get him out of office! There's no way he should be allowed to do his job anymore. A man who sucks at not getting caught while cheating is a liability. Can't separate sex and state, nosirree Bill. If he were much better at keeping this a secret, he'd be able to do his Presidenting just fine!
No one should condone what Kobe did. But, as an NBA fan, I'm pissed that he cheated me out of a solid season of watching him play basketball with the media focus being squarely on basketball. From my selfish point of view, I want to continue to have basketball viewing enjoyment, so the more I can watch him play, the better. The fans want payback.
Kind of like how Magic Johnson cheated fans from seeing him continue to play in his prime after November 1991.
4. Would you let a good frind borrow money - good chunk of change - no questions asked?
I would try my damndest to get at least an idea of what the money was for. If it were for something illegal, I ain't going to implicate myself in some crap. Because it's a risk for my family as well. But I would assume a good friend would not have to hide what the money is for, as I'd be willing to listen and help. But I wouldn't want to support someone's secret drug habit, for instance. Money doesn't grow on trees for anybody.
5. What sports would you have picked up if basketball wasn't invented?
Wow. I'd want to say bowling, except it seems ridiculous to have to pay money every time you simply want to play a sport for enjoyment. Baseball is plain ridiculous, in general. Football is risky... Hockey, no... Jai-alai, no. Games that you can play alone or with others... Tennis, no. NASCAR, no. Track & field events need special equipment. I suppose running is free, but not terribly exciting. Maybe some form of cycling, just riding a bike. I guess I'll have to think about this more. And I know just the place to think about it.
# posted by juveekin @ 2:59 PM 
